If you are a Pagan with children it is very hard to argue with the Easter Bunny or Santa Claus. I don't try. As a scientist I made absolutely certain that my daughter understood, as early as 5, the physical science aspects of Winter Solstice, Summer Solstice, Spring Equinox & Fall Equinox. But we always have a "Christmas" Tree and the Easter Bunny always comes to our house. When children are very young, spring is about simple things like flowers blooming or stinging catepillars on oak trees. But we swim in a cultural stream that is affected by history: hidden (and not so hidden) Pagan history, Christian history, Jewish history, so the Easter Basket and the Easter Bunny is part of what we do.
The Christian celebration of Easter is a "moveable feast". A moveable feast is a religious holiday that falls on different dates in different years. Full Moon rituals.... moveable feasts. Not that the kids will get these off as religious holidays. Well you could try but, me personally, I am not willing to stick my neck out quite that far. Children to protect.
Easter is officially the first Sunday after the full moon following the Spring Equinox. Unless the first Sunday falls on a Full Moon, then it is the following Sunday.
No, I am not making this up. There are a couple of great articles explaining the detail in the reasoning for setting the date of Easter. Also check out this link. Even when the Christians agree about celebrating Easter they continue to quibble about the exact date. New Orleanians don't quibble because Easter sets the date for the more important moveable feast of Mardi Gras.
So as a pagan parent my recommendation is to teach your children about the science behind the Solstices & the Equinoxes. Make sure that you mark these days as special. Then don't fight the Easter Bunny but use the Spring Equinox as the time to when we should start appreciating the signs of Spring and keep look out for the Easter Bunny.
Showing posts with label Teaching Children. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Teaching Children. Show all posts
Saturday, March 21, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Happy Howling - Lupercus
Early February, specifically Febuary 2nd, is time of Lupercus, when the Streghe (Pagan Tradition that has its origins in Italy) celebrate the Young God, the Golden Wolf. The days are getting longer, the light renews our hope of the coming rebirth, but chill air still bites and the earth remains in deep slumber.
I would have thought that Lupercus would have been one of the more complex ideas to breakdown into something understandable for a 5 year old. After all, Lupercus is a ritual that is quite unlike most Pagan rituals that fall at this point in the wheel of the year. Lupercus is the young adolescent: untamable, "immortal", bulletproof. He is powerful, wild, a little out of control and totally natural all at the same time, just like any hormone ridden young man. The image of this Great Golden Wolf, who is beneficial to humans, is a bit of a dichotomy even for adults to wrap their minds around. The wolf is something wild that humans feared in days past. The Wolf is after all a predator.
But opportunities arise when you least expect them.
My 5 year old daughter is a bit of a Sarah Heartburn/Drama Queen. One day, in an attempt to get both of us ready quickly for some event, we were taking a shower together. As in most rushed events, things went wrong and the water got a bit too hot then, over correcting, too cold and she went right over the top. She was whining and crying and screaming and well, Howling! Without conscious thought, out of my mouth comes: "My goodness that's a lot of noise for a little girl. You sound like a howling wolf. Does it make you feel better to howl?" and then I howled like a wolf.
Remember we are in the shower and you all know how the shower amplifies and improves the sound. So I howled while she continued to whine and cry until she finally tried it and, the sound reverberated off walls, driving all sense of troubleand pain from us and we were howling and laughing. There was a sense of primal joy that bubbled up from the depths of our souls as we let loose AAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOO! The world was a much better place. Everything after that was lighter, looser, fun and we made it where we needed to be on time.
So here we take the shock of the hot then cold water, the rush of panic, of upset and anger and tension; relieved and released by Howling. Amazing and it works on adults too! In thinking about it later with my conscious mind, I saw the similarities to the Lupercus ritual.
Weeks later I am combing my daughter's hair after her bath. She has straight fine, easily tangled hair and even with "No More Tangles" to spray in it. As I comb Sarah Heartburn kicks in and: "OW! Mommie you're are pulling my hair!" and "That hurts!" I don't say anything. I too have fine straight hair and remember giving my Mom hell when she combed my hair. So I just stop, spray some more "No More Tangles" and then my daughter turns to me and says "Let's howl like wolves!"
So we do. No more whining and crying about her hair instead we are smiling and laughing and all the troubles of the world just evaporate into the sound of howling. The strangest thing was that I had had a horrid day at work. I was emotionally exhausted, and taking comfort in doing domestic, Mommie things. But after the howling session I was feeling light and free and happy. Rather than just taking comfort in the evening domestic ritual I was able to enjoy it, savor it, because the weight of the world was gone and I felt alive, refreshed, renewed.
And this is exactly what celebrating Lupercus can teaach us.
A few days ago and at bathtime again we had let the dog in because it was cold outside. After her bath and while she is brushing her teeth, my daughter says: "Let's howl like wolves." By now she and I *know* that this is fun, it's a release from how the world usually works, it's powerful stuff. But we've never howled *with the dog* in the bathroom before. Well we start howling and smiling and howling. The dog is looking at us like we are stupid humans then, because we don't stop, she decides to howl with us. She is part Basset Hound and so she gets that low, rolling howl going and then releases it into the higher howl and my daughter and I just about loose it! This is GREAT stuff. So here we are 3 "girls" in the bathroom howling to beat the band.
Our howling allowed us to experience Lupercus as the God of the wild, untamable, primitive and primal part of us that we hold deep inside, hidden under our veneer of civilization. This is something with which our ancestors, who lived much closer to the wild, had a deep connection. It is something that is critical for us, as modern humans to be able to reconnect with, to regain. Look around at the modern world, look at the violence, the intensity, the extreme sports, the yearning to take SUVs to the mountain top and see that we as a society keenly feel the lack and are searching for that ancient, critical, wild, primal connection. Look at the enduring appeal of the Tarzan story and the power of Tarzan's "howl". I've always wondered if Disney knew what they were tapping into when they released Tarzan on video, February 2, 2000.
There is really something to this howling, this connecting with the primal in ourselves. This is what Lupercus celebrates.
We've been held down by the darkness of winter, or the weight of the world and howling enlivens us and pushes the weight of the world farther away. And folks, the wolves got it right because howling works best when you have friends!!!!!! I highly recommend it.
Happy Howling.
First Published in Raven's Call February-April 2001.
I would have thought that Lupercus would have been one of the more complex ideas to breakdown into something understandable for a 5 year old. After all, Lupercus is a ritual that is quite unlike most Pagan rituals that fall at this point in the wheel of the year. Lupercus is the young adolescent: untamable, "immortal", bulletproof. He is powerful, wild, a little out of control and totally natural all at the same time, just like any hormone ridden young man. The image of this Great Golden Wolf, who is beneficial to humans, is a bit of a dichotomy even for adults to wrap their minds around. The wolf is something wild that humans feared in days past. The Wolf is after all a predator.
But opportunities arise when you least expect them.
My 5 year old daughter is a bit of a Sarah Heartburn/Drama Queen. One day, in an attempt to get both of us ready quickly for some event, we were taking a shower together. As in most rushed events, things went wrong and the water got a bit too hot then, over correcting, too cold and she went right over the top. She was whining and crying and screaming and well, Howling! Without conscious thought, out of my mouth comes: "My goodness that's a lot of noise for a little girl. You sound like a howling wolf. Does it make you feel better to howl?" and then I howled like a wolf.
Remember we are in the shower and you all know how the shower amplifies and improves the sound. So I howled while she continued to whine and cry until she finally tried it and, the sound reverberated off walls, driving all sense of troubleand pain from us and we were howling and laughing. There was a sense of primal joy that bubbled up from the depths of our souls as we let loose AAAAAAAAOOOOOOOOO! The world was a much better place. Everything after that was lighter, looser, fun and we made it where we needed to be on time.
So here we take the shock of the hot then cold water, the rush of panic, of upset and anger and tension; relieved and released by Howling. Amazing and it works on adults too! In thinking about it later with my conscious mind, I saw the similarities to the Lupercus ritual.
Weeks later I am combing my daughter's hair after her bath. She has straight fine, easily tangled hair and even with "No More Tangles" to spray in it. As I comb Sarah Heartburn kicks in and: "OW! Mommie you're are pulling my hair!" and "That hurts!" I don't say anything. I too have fine straight hair and remember giving my Mom hell when she combed my hair. So I just stop, spray some more "No More Tangles" and then my daughter turns to me and says "Let's howl like wolves!"
So we do. No more whining and crying about her hair instead we are smiling and laughing and all the troubles of the world just evaporate into the sound of howling. The strangest thing was that I had had a horrid day at work. I was emotionally exhausted, and taking comfort in doing domestic, Mommie things. But after the howling session I was feeling light and free and happy. Rather than just taking comfort in the evening domestic ritual I was able to enjoy it, savor it, because the weight of the world was gone and I felt alive, refreshed, renewed.
And this is exactly what celebrating Lupercus can teaach us.
A few days ago and at bathtime again we had let the dog in because it was cold outside. After her bath and while she is brushing her teeth, my daughter says: "Let's howl like wolves." By now she and I *know* that this is fun, it's a release from how the world usually works, it's powerful stuff. But we've never howled *with the dog* in the bathroom before. Well we start howling and smiling and howling. The dog is looking at us like we are stupid humans then, because we don't stop, she decides to howl with us. She is part Basset Hound and so she gets that low, rolling howl going and then releases it into the higher howl and my daughter and I just about loose it! This is GREAT stuff. So here we are 3 "girls" in the bathroom howling to beat the band.
Our howling allowed us to experience Lupercus as the God of the wild, untamable, primitive and primal part of us that we hold deep inside, hidden under our veneer of civilization. This is something with which our ancestors, who lived much closer to the wild, had a deep connection. It is something that is critical for us, as modern humans to be able to reconnect with, to regain. Look around at the modern world, look at the violence, the intensity, the extreme sports, the yearning to take SUVs to the mountain top and see that we as a society keenly feel the lack and are searching for that ancient, critical, wild, primal connection. Look at the enduring appeal of the Tarzan story and the power of Tarzan's "howl". I've always wondered if Disney knew what they were tapping into when they released Tarzan on video, February 2, 2000.
There is really something to this howling, this connecting with the primal in ourselves. This is what Lupercus celebrates.
We've been held down by the darkness of winter, or the weight of the world and howling enlivens us and pushes the weight of the world farther away. And folks, the wolves got it right because howling works best when you have friends!!!!!! I highly recommend it.
Happy Howling.
First Published in Raven's Call February-April 2001.
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Death & Disney
I had to attend a funeral today. It made me think about my Lasa/Lare Shrine and my Grandmother and explaining death to a 5 year old.
My Gran died when he was 83 years old. She was a "Tough Cookie". Everything I learned about tenacity and thoroughness and principle I learned at my Gran's knee. She could also occasionally be a pill, so I remember this when I slip or when my daughter shows these tendencies. Any way, during Gran's on and off stays at the hospital for the last ~8 months of her life my 5 year old daughter and I would visit Gran. My daughter had visited Gran regularly before the hospital stays started but, we visited every other weekend while she was in the hospital. I say this so you will know that my daughter *knew* her great-grandmother. This was the first person that she has ever known who died. So this was a *BIG* deal.
Here is where I thank Disney. There isn't much death in Disney. There are only a few scenes where you actually *see* death happen. I can recall the Mom's death in Bambi (but you really hear and *feel* that death more than see it), the Dragon in Sleeping Beauty, Ursula in the Little Mermaid, (which we “zoomed past” for a long time because of the negative witch portrayal) and the Gorilla in Tarzan. The Gorilla is Tarzan's pseudo father so seeing his death has a bigger impact on the watcher. About the 4th or 5th time we sat through Tarzan, my daughter asked me right after the Gorilla dies, "Mommie why do your eyes close when you die?" Uhmmmmmmm (quick Mom-thinking here)... "Well 'cause you don't need you eyes when you are dead."
My daughter is a big anatomy and physiology fan she wants to know how everything works. She has a huge kid's book, 3 feet high with pictures of kid anatomy and we've covered a lot of the how your body works stuff. So it’s not totally off the wall for me to say: "When we die we don't need our eyes, or our hearts any more that's why we can give them to other people whose eyes or hearts don't work as well or are making them sick or unable to run and play or read books." Well that is, thankfully, enough for her at the time and the end of the discussion.
When Gran died, I had to find a way to tell my daughter. I also had to prepare her for any stuff that people could say to her about her Gran's death. So we had a little quiet time that evening and I told her that Gran had died. With small kids it is sometimes hard to know what they think so I went on: "Mommie thinks that when you die you go on to be a spirit. We don't need our bodies any more and so we become spirits." I don't say Angels. I intentionally use the more generic term Spirit. And I very specifically say *Mommie thinks*, because Dad thinks when you're done, you're done, that's it! Here is where I thank Disney again. "Do you know how Mulan lights the incense and then the Blue Spirits come out and find a way to help Mulan?" Yes, big head nodding she remembers this... Who can forget the Blue Ancestor popping out and Eddie Murphy as Mushu! "Well now Gran is a Blue Spirit." More head nodding and eyes lighting up in anknowledgement. O.K. I see that works. Whew!
New Orleans is a very old fashion town so we have a wake/visitation but only from 8-11 AM. Then there is the service at the funeral home by the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod Pastor and I sit through it thinking how glad I am not to believe the stuff. When the service is over at 11:30 I dash out to get my daughter from School. The Gods must have helped with the timing because I got to school right at 11:40 which was when I said I would be there and as I was driving on to the cemetery I dropped off of the Interstate with the funeral procession exactly 5 blocks behind me. So we go on to the burial. We watch as the casket is taken out and I tell my daughter that even though Gran doesn't need her body anymore we still put her body in a special box and in a special place because we loved Gran. That works, thankfully, for my very practical daughter.
There was a huge flower arrangement on the casket from children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren and after the service all of the children and grandchildren and great Grandchildren take a flower or 2 out of the arrangement. Later, after gathering with close friends and family for lunch, hanging out and telling tales about Gran, we go home. My 5 year old holds the flowers as we drive and we decide where we are going to put them. She wants to put hers in the dining room. I have 2 roses and say I'm going to put them in "Mommie's special spot downstairs". She dutifully remembers which flowers go where and makes sure that they get to the special spot. The special spot is, of course, my Lasa Shrine. I don't push anything that evening. The kid has had a full day, but she watches as I light a candle before going upstairs.
A few days later, I'm digging through some pictures to find a picture of my Gran and PaPa to place in the Lasa Shrine. I find it and my daughter helps me take it downstairs and I put it next to the flowers. And we talk, for the first time really, about the Lasa Shrine. "You know how Mulan goes to a special house to light the incense for her ancestors? Well this is Mommie's special spot for her ancestors and now that Gran is a spirit I thought that we could put her picture here and light a candle for her." Eyes lighting up, she gets it (totally cool!), then "Mommie can *I* light the candle?". Sure kid. Thanks Disney.
Ever notice that the Fairy in Pinocchio is Blue? Traditionally the lasa/spirit light and the life in the light of the spirit flame is said to be blue. Disney either got lucky or really did their homework or had a Pagan link way back there. I’m envisioning a sort of a group of modern Age of Enlightenment type thinkers, not really Pagan but open to those sorts of ideas. Either way it’s nice to be able to use these mundane tools to help explain my path to my daughter.
My Gran died when he was 83 years old. She was a "Tough Cookie". Everything I learned about tenacity and thoroughness and principle I learned at my Gran's knee. She could also occasionally be a pill, so I remember this when I slip or when my daughter shows these tendencies. Any way, during Gran's on and off stays at the hospital for the last ~8 months of her life my 5 year old daughter and I would visit Gran. My daughter had visited Gran regularly before the hospital stays started but, we visited every other weekend while she was in the hospital. I say this so you will know that my daughter *knew* her great-grandmother. This was the first person that she has ever known who died. So this was a *BIG* deal.
Here is where I thank Disney. There isn't much death in Disney. There are only a few scenes where you actually *see* death happen. I can recall the Mom's death in Bambi (but you really hear and *feel* that death more than see it), the Dragon in Sleeping Beauty, Ursula in the Little Mermaid, (which we “zoomed past” for a long time because of the negative witch portrayal) and the Gorilla in Tarzan. The Gorilla is Tarzan's pseudo father so seeing his death has a bigger impact on the watcher. About the 4th or 5th time we sat through Tarzan, my daughter asked me right after the Gorilla dies, "Mommie why do your eyes close when you die?" Uhmmmmmmm (quick Mom-thinking here)... "Well 'cause you don't need you eyes when you are dead."
My daughter is a big anatomy and physiology fan she wants to know how everything works. She has a huge kid's book, 3 feet high with pictures of kid anatomy and we've covered a lot of the how your body works stuff. So it’s not totally off the wall for me to say: "When we die we don't need our eyes, or our hearts any more that's why we can give them to other people whose eyes or hearts don't work as well or are making them sick or unable to run and play or read books." Well that is, thankfully, enough for her at the time and the end of the discussion.
When Gran died, I had to find a way to tell my daughter. I also had to prepare her for any stuff that people could say to her about her Gran's death. So we had a little quiet time that evening and I told her that Gran had died. With small kids it is sometimes hard to know what they think so I went on: "Mommie thinks that when you die you go on to be a spirit. We don't need our bodies any more and so we become spirits." I don't say Angels. I intentionally use the more generic term Spirit. And I very specifically say *Mommie thinks*, because Dad thinks when you're done, you're done, that's it! Here is where I thank Disney again. "Do you know how Mulan lights the incense and then the Blue Spirits come out and find a way to help Mulan?" Yes, big head nodding she remembers this... Who can forget the Blue Ancestor popping out and Eddie Murphy as Mushu! "Well now Gran is a Blue Spirit." More head nodding and eyes lighting up in anknowledgement. O.K. I see that works. Whew!
New Orleans is a very old fashion town so we have a wake/visitation but only from 8-11 AM. Then there is the service at the funeral home by the Lutheran Church Missouri Synod Pastor and I sit through it thinking how glad I am not to believe the stuff. When the service is over at 11:30 I dash out to get my daughter from School. The Gods must have helped with the timing because I got to school right at 11:40 which was when I said I would be there and as I was driving on to the cemetery I dropped off of the Interstate with the funeral procession exactly 5 blocks behind me. So we go on to the burial. We watch as the casket is taken out and I tell my daughter that even though Gran doesn't need her body anymore we still put her body in a special box and in a special place because we loved Gran. That works, thankfully, for my very practical daughter.
There was a huge flower arrangement on the casket from children, grandchildren and great-grandchildren and after the service all of the children and grandchildren and great Grandchildren take a flower or 2 out of the arrangement. Later, after gathering with close friends and family for lunch, hanging out and telling tales about Gran, we go home. My 5 year old holds the flowers as we drive and we decide where we are going to put them. She wants to put hers in the dining room. I have 2 roses and say I'm going to put them in "Mommie's special spot downstairs". She dutifully remembers which flowers go where and makes sure that they get to the special spot. The special spot is, of course, my Lasa Shrine. I don't push anything that evening. The kid has had a full day, but she watches as I light a candle before going upstairs.
A few days later, I'm digging through some pictures to find a picture of my Gran and PaPa to place in the Lasa Shrine. I find it and my daughter helps me take it downstairs and I put it next to the flowers. And we talk, for the first time really, about the Lasa Shrine. "You know how Mulan goes to a special house to light the incense for her ancestors? Well this is Mommie's special spot for her ancestors and now that Gran is a spirit I thought that we could put her picture here and light a candle for her." Eyes lighting up, she gets it (totally cool!), then "Mommie can *I* light the candle?". Sure kid. Thanks Disney.
Ever notice that the Fairy in Pinocchio is Blue? Traditionally the lasa/spirit light and the life in the light of the spirit flame is said to be blue. Disney either got lucky or really did their homework or had a Pagan link way back there. I’m envisioning a sort of a group of modern Age of Enlightenment type thinkers, not really Pagan but open to those sorts of ideas. Either way it’s nice to be able to use these mundane tools to help explain my path to my daughter.
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